I remember when I was little, whenever my parents started the "how much we've done for you" talk, I always got really irritated and intentionly tried to ignore them. Being an 80s-generation is very tough in China. There is such a tremendous gap between us and our parents. Maybe you will say that all the children and parents share this gap. Well, maybe so, but I still think for Chinese it's a bit special.
It's well known that China started its economic booming after 80s, so as children who were born during this era, we didn't experience the rough life the way our parents did. As a result, we don't appreciate things as our parents did. Moreover, once our parents try to lecture us so and so, we don't really understand them but accuse them for being "old school".
At least, for me the story went like this. The first time I started appreciating my parents was 3 months until my university entrance exam. In most Asian countries, high school students have to study like mad men to get into college. I wasn't a particular good student in high school, until this story happened. During my last year, my dad delivered lunch box to me everyday on his motor bike, but one day he didn't show up. Some acquaintance of his asked his kid to give me some pocket money to buy food myself the day after. I didn't think about it too much at first, but after a week my dad still didn't show up. Later on I heard from some kids, who heard from their parents who also deliver lunch boxes that my dad had an accident on his way to see me. I was so shocked, because for so long they didn't say a word about the accident. And my dad, in order to not let me worry, he would hide away for the wounds to recover.
I was so ashamed of myself when I learned about this fact. My dad was probably very harsh on me all the time, but I never stood from his point of view to understand his intention. He wanted me to be outstanding, wanted me to get into a good school, but I always failed him. It was only 3 months to go, I finally pulled myself up together and started reviewing all the books from the 1st grade in high school. I don't remember how I did, but I was the 5th of the class when we had our final scores reported. (There were about 100 people in my class.)
Ever since that, my relationship with my parents magically changed too. I always have a lot to talk to them, and they always want to tell me about their life too. As the old Chinese saying goes: Push down the wall, then it becomes a bridge. It is true.
Soon I will be a mother too, I have been going through a lot of physical pains and mental struggles while expecting this baby. I will love this baby the way my parents loved me, maybe at the start he or she won't understand this love, but I know as he or she grows, s/he will get to where I reached.